


That’s Not

by MILKYWON



Category: GOT7
Genre: Alternate Universe - Non-Famous, Alternate Universe - School, Angst, Bullying, F/M, Past Park Jinyoung | Jr./Mark Tuan
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-17
Updated: 2018-02-17
Packaged: 2019-03-20 05:15:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,508
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13710609
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MILKYWON/pseuds/MILKYWON
Summary: (A personal story where I use Mark and Jinyoung to portray it.)Mark reminisces the past, Jinyoung’s thinking about the future.





	That’s Not

**Author's Note:**

> Everything in this story as happened to me, all of it. I thought it’d be nice to let it all go, to get away from it by writing it. My relationship was a great one, don’t get me wrong. He was a great guy, but he wasn’t smart, no. Immature, gullible, easy. He’s brainwashed.

 

The first relationship is always the hardest. Not knowing where to begin, how to start. It’s never easy when you’re a beginner. Always awkward, but awkward isn’t bad. Not necessarily, relationships can start out awkward, that’s okay. But it’ll progress further, and the progression is always the best part. The subtle touches becoming hugs or shy hand holding. It was just soft.

 

  
They were both so young at the time, not knowing how relationships or love even worked. Mark had confessed first on text. Asking Jinyoung who he had liked and said he’d say if Jinyoung promised to tell after, and Mark quickly typed his name before blocking him.

 

  
Jinyoung’s friend, who was also Mark’s, had to convince him to unblock Jinyoung since he had liked him back.

 

  
So that’s his first relationship. A horrible confession on text, but it was better than nothing.

 

  
All of Mark’s friends weren’t too supportive, saying he should watch out. Mark only waved them off and would tell them with a fond expression and joyful eyes that Jinyoung was different. He said he knew Jinyoung, that he was a great person inside and out.

 

  
So how was awkward and funny awkward supposed to date?

 

  
When Jinyoung first wrapped his arm around his neck as they were quietly sitting under a tree, he flinched and quickly backed away before understanding the situation. Mark apologized profusely, forgetting about what was happening, and Jinyoung forgave him, saying he shouldn’t have been so reckless and asked for permission. Mark thanks him for understanding.

 

  
Mark wasn’t much of a social person, someone that never went outside. So when he admitted to never being to an amusement park, Jinyoung yells over the phone that he’d save up money to buy Mark tickets just so he can enjoy himself. Mark smiled and says _‘ok’_ as they giggle.

 

  
Surprisingly Mark found out quickly that Jinyoung was a cheesy man. He’d get new cute nicknames every week, but Mark would rather die than admit that they were cute. Though his and Jinyoung’s favorite would be ‘pookie bear’ or just ‘pookie’. And Mark would always whine and laugh in embarrassment when he’d say if aloud, but he’d never tell him to stop, it made him feel special.

 

  
Talks were always awkward, but their texts always made up for days they couldn’t converse face to face. Sending paragraphs of praise and love, as they assure each other they will never leave. Jinyoung is the one to talk to the other about how much he loved him, knowing how Mark got insecure quick.

 

  
Conversations on text being a back and forth argument asking if they were sure, if Jinyoung was sure.

 

  
**Mark: Are you sure?**

 

  
**Jinyoung: what?**

**Mark: that you love me**

 

  
**Jinyoung: I’m sure**

 

  
**Mark: are you sure that you’re sure?**

 

  
**Jinyoung: I’m sure that I’m sure about the fact that I’m sure**

 

  
And it would never end quickly, as it’d quickly become a phone call where they’d have a smile on their faces, laying in bed as they whisper words of assurance.

 

  
“I believe you.” Mark would always whisper after countless rounds of the _‘are you sure’_ game. Jinyoung never got annoyed, gladly reminding his boyfriend that he really did love him.

 

  
They engraved their initials on the same tree they’d hide to for comfort, blushing softly when they knew it’d never come off. It’d be permanent, and it’d last forever. Just like their relationship.

 

  
Then they started to get older, their group of friends expanding and getting different. Jinyoung still kept his old friends but Mark strayed away from them, choosing to start new. But Jinyoung only became distant because of this. Their texts becoming short, and Jinyoung would never stick around long enough for Mark to get his daily dose of assurance. Their conversations stale and Jinyoung would try and get his way out of the conversation.

 

  
But he still showed his love on his birthday and Christmas. Jinyoung giving Mark an album for his birthday and both exchanged collectibles of their favorite characters on Christmas. But it was still always so awkward, and Mark felt suffocated when Jinyoung moved higher and climbed heights Mark never had the guts to reach for.

 

  
That’s when Jinyoung ended it. A damn text where he was surrounded by his friends cheering him on, telling him to end it. Mark didn’t know what else to say, to text. He quickly typed in an answer before finally crying.

 

  
**Mark: ...oh...ok**

 

  
Jinyoung’s friends never left him alone after that.

 

  
They’d taunt him, call him names. They’d spread lies and toxic nicknames that’d bring him down. They claimed that he was too cold in his texts, as if he could do anything else when Jinyoung broke up with him first.

 

  
They got together on text, and ended it like that. Mark would look at the presents and letter as he read through it for anything that could’ve lead to this, wanting to smash them, throw them, burn them.

 

  
Mark developed awful mood swings due to the fact that he’d be perfectly fine and happy before entering the lion’s den and listened to venomous words being thrown at him, he would never recover from them. He’d never forget such degrading terms.

 

  
Though knowing the source and start of everything was Jinyoung himself, he would probably never recover. But Mark still had asshole friends by his side, so of course they knew he still loved him after everything, so when Mark received a text from Jinyoung asking if Mark wanted to still be with him, Mark replied with a simple yes. He remembered to yell at the suspect that ratted him out.

 

  
They got back together on text.

 

  
It was odd at first, Mark still not forgiving Jinyoung for everything he had done in the past, but Jinyoung was quick to apologize. Claiming he wasn’t thinking right and had been told to by other people.

 

  
**Mark: why’d you do it?**

 

  
**Jinyoung: ??**

 

  
**Mark: why’d you break up with me?**

 

  
**Jinyoung: ...my friends told me to**

 

  
Mark texted Jinyoung with an acidic feeling in his stomach, sad to know his first love gave into taunts by his own friends.

 

  
They’d stare at each other in the halls, talk when sat near each other, or if they just had to. It was still awkward and Mark blamed his ex-friend for making it this way.

 

  
Apparently Mark still wasn’t what Jinyoung wanted. He probably never will be.

 

  
A horrible rumor came around claiming Mark was going to break up with Jinyoung. It had gone around quickly, everyone spreading the lie around, and Mark was completely oblivious to it.

 

  
So one day when Mark was eating peacefully with new people he trusted, he was approached by one of Jinyoung’s friends.

 

  
“Hello.” Mark said, eyeing him before the other crouched down and said loudly for everyone to hear, a pitch too high to show he didn’t care.

 

  
“Jinyoung’s breaking up with you.” And Mark sees that evil smile, the laugh ready to erupt from his throat. He knows that face anywhere, and Mark wants to wipe that grin off his face.

 

  
“What?” Mark says quietly. Mark sees Jinyoung start to come out from hiding behind his friend’s back. He almost scoffs when he sees how cowardly Jinyoung has become.

 

  
“I’m breaking up with you.” Jinyoung says, and Mark can only nod before he hears the loud cheers coming from behind trees, bushes, benches. It hurts his ears and he looks around to see a crowd surrounding them.

 

  
Everyone was happy, yelling words of congratulations as they patted Jinyoung on the back for _‘finally escaping’_. Mark had never felt so insecure before.

 

  
When the screaming and laughter had subsided and they all left to laugh about it somewhere else, Mark whispers for only Jinyoung and him to hear.

 

  
“Are you sure?” Mark asks, glassy eyes meeting the younger’s. Jinyoung can only stare before walking away, rejoining his group. For the second time, Mark breaks down. He cries and curses his friend for rekindling a toxic relationship so he could get hurt again. He cries and cries while people watch in amusement, and he’s never felt such a bad panic attack rise from his throat. A bad bile taste starting to burn and scratch, and suddenly he can’t breathe.

 

  
He never found out the reason of the second breakup until half a year later, a girl telling him bluntly while laughing like it still wasn’t a bad memory for him.

 

  
“Yeah, he said he couldn’t let someone like you break up with him,” she giggled, Mark looks down. “Said it’d ruin his pride.” Mark thanks the girl for the piece of information before turning on his heels to walk away. His friends still talked to his ex, completely pushing away the fact he had hurt him, saying that he shouldn’t be so overdramatic.

 

  
Mark will wait for hell to freeze over before he can start loving someone again. He walks down the hallways and hears laughter and burning words being thrown at him.

 

  
His chest burns.

 

 


End file.
